What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the kangaroo fall over? Because it fell over the dead koala

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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whats 2=2? gonorrhea.

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They all say ouch and then continue walking. Although the minister did hit it at a higher speed and ended up with a black eye.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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