I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

woman's lacrosse

you pick up 10 students from a school, you buy a pish from the fet store, and then drive to new york whos driving the bus? a fat guy with a level 80 org in world of warcraft

how did the black guy get into school? he walked thru the front door.

"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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