How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

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cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

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Whats fat and gay joe diragi

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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