It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

A Priest, a Rabbi and a Shaman walk into a bar. The Bartender looks at them and says "What is this a Joke?"

You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

What's Black,White and red all over? A black person with a skin disease on her period.

A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

oh no a butt!!!!!!!!!! your stubid oh wait your right ahhhhhhhhhh

Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

Yo mama so ugly that she often has trouble being attractive towards people of the opposite gender

What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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