What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

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I asked her where you were.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

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why did nick leave school? bECAUSE HE WAS RETARDED

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A bus with 12 black guys is driven off a cliff. What is the sad part of this story? ... Our beloved president was not involved.

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Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

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Stop making 9/11 jokes their just plane unfunny

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What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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