what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

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What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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Dumb

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how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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