Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

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Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

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Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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*knock knock* i have diarrhea

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Yellow People !!

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? That depends on what his name is.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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