To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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homosexual rights to marriage

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

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why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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