Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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Yes

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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A man was struck by lightning. What did you think he got super powers or something? No. He died a horrible death

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

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What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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