How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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A man is driving the speed limit of 55 on the highway. He gets pulled over and the cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" The man replies "Well yes I was going 55, the speed limit." The cop says, "No you were going 80." The speedometers broken.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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