What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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Why did Joe not cross the road? Because the Pedestrian Crossing light said not to.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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knock knock who's there a tiger Alex proceeds to walk away as there is a tiger at his front door. he then calls the police because of the potential danger. the animal control then apprehends the animal and takes it to an enclosure

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Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

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Wihat's red, green, and goes 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender!!!!!

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A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

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What do you call a gynochologist named John? John

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

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To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops