If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

thumb_up thumb_down +19

awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops