why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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What do you call a joke that isn't funny? A joke that isn't funny.

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? The black man eats chicken.

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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How did the black man get into college? A mop.

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Why did the horse stop runnIng? His master beat him to death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn the people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? cause he had mad-cow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican Cross the road? He was on His way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was walking to his car, racist....just kidding, he was on his way to rob a bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops