What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

If a red house is made out of red bricks, and a blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is a green house made out of? Green bricks.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? This is a psychological question which the egg came from the chicken, but the chicken also came from an egg, so the world may never know exactly.

What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

what is the name of the book that helen keller wrote LADIUFgSLDGFhalkjgfvcgh

Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

Two baby seals walk into a club.

What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

What do you do when you see an ostrich playing tennis? I don't know as I have little experience in the areas of ostriches or tennis. Frankly, I'm not quite sure why you're even asking me

Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

Guess what? That is actually a ridiculously broad question, and I can be referring to anything. You really have no chance in guessing "what" is. As a matter of fact, I can just be thinking about a thought of something else, which is not even a concrete thing. Therefore, you really have no chance of guessing what "what" actually is. So I win. You lose.

"What's long, black, and smelly?" "The unemployment line." Upon hearing his boss tell this joke, the accountant files a complaint with human resources and the boss must attend several work training classes to develop a better sense of racial awareness and compassion. The workplace soon becomes a much less threatening environment for all people.

Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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