what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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I did it. the Bulls fan Took a few hours on Microsoft word. then I copy and pasted it on this!

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getting a call from the hospital saying that your whole entire family was all killed in an explosion and they were killed from your best friend.

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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What did Rebecka black say on Thursday? Today is thursday.

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You know whats funny? Women's rights

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? A little boy took a bath with Bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the name of the man.

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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