If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? a horse

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1: Why did Suzie have no arms and no legs? 2: Why? 1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's there? 1: Not Suzie

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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What's the difference between a duck? Both legs are of equal length, especially the right.

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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