Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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