What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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Yellow People !!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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How many electricians does it take to fix a light bulb? One

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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