Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

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where's mom I killed her

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whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car, who's driving? Their father Micheal, he adopted both of them from a mentally handicapped orphanage when they were five.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Josh Moran sticks CD's up his dick to see how fun it is to give a boy anal.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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David Cameron

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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