I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

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You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

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A gay man walks down a street before being stabbed to death by a homophobe.

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1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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A black man, a mexican man, and a caucasian man, walk into a bar with handguns. The three break out into a gun fight and everyone is killed in the cross-fire

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

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You got yourself a mole, I suggest you restrict all access to any and everyone that could possibly go under aliases such as: The Wiz. Azure. Dungeon Lord. Dice. Wizard, and anything similar, he is most likely a computer geek which does not necessarily look like one.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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