Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

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A man is driving the speed limit of 55 on the highway. He gets pulled over and the cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" The man replies "Well yes I was going 55, the speed limit." The cop says, "No you were going 80." The speedometers broken.

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Why lets go Mets? Lets go Yankees!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops