Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Guess what? That is actually a ridiculously broad question, and I can be referring to anything. You really have no chance in guessing "what" is. As a matter of fact, I can just be thinking about a thought of something else, which is not even a concrete thing. Therefore, you really have no chance of guessing what "what" actually is. So I win. You lose.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Go away still nothing to see

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops