What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

thumb_up thumb_down +32

a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops