your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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