Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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Happy Monday!

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Knock Knock Who's There Trick or Treat!!!

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops