Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

I am a mime

read me write me

If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

Jordan is pregant

What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

Golf.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

So these two girls have a cup .

Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

why was the woman silent? she lost the ability to speak in a tragic boating accident in which her vocals chords were damaged thus making it incapable for her to utter anything

What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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