Knock Knock! Who's There? Interrupting Doctor Interru--- You Have Cancer...

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Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

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I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

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Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

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whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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Q: What was the last thing to enter the bug's mind as it flew into the windshield? A: His back legs.

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Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

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What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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