Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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