What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

Why did the chicken cross the road? because

What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

A Jew buys something that is not on sale

Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

What happened to the young baby after her mother died It grew up got a collage degree and had a great life growing up with her dad and visiting the cemetery every year

When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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