when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

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Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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What's the difference between a duck? Both legs are of equal length, especially the right.

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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A black man walks into a bar. He paid his tab and couldn't have been more polite.

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

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Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

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Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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