A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: what is the best way to pick up jewish chicks. A: with a pickup line and possibly a gift such as chocolates or flowers

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Dollar ice tea... I drink that Supa hot fire... i spit that Two and a half men................... I watch that

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why are balck people black because they are

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Did you hear about the boy with the treehouse? He caught his mom cheating on his dad in there.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

My mom says hi ............ Jk she says hello

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops