Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Why? Why not?

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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If bananas are purple, then what color are oranges? I am not going to tell you the answer because this joke has no significance whatsoever.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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haha

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What Do call a dog with an e A doge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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