What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Black people having a Job.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what happened to the little girl when she crossed the line she was shot. shes mexican

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops