Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops