What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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Who was the best Call of Duty World at War Player? A: Hitler he had 6 million kills and only 1 death

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Pickles

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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Detroit has a low crime rate

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops