Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

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What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

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Jesus saves, passes to Moses who shoots and scores!!!

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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Why was the dog sweating? It was locked in a car on a hot day.

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Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff!

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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Godilla walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

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Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops