What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Jesus Christ

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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