What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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A guy walks into a bar

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. FBI who? The FBI. We have your house surrounded. Pervert.

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There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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What do you call 1 black guy and 9 other white guys? Patrick Mills

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

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Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

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Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

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Why'd the cop pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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Q: What was the last thing to enter the bug's mind as it flew into the windshield? A: His back legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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