Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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My black friend love grape soda and koolaid, with his fried chicken, and i dont think its racist cuz i also enjoy the same things at times

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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What do you say when a black person is walking through wal-mart? Prisoner

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You sick fiend

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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A bar walks into a man

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

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Caitlin Jenner has a mangina.

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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