A blind man walks into a library.

Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. They discuss the fundamentals and aspects of Religion.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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