what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

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A whole 'nother.

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A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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What do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? A surgeon.

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Knock Knock whos there? a black man ohh ok come in

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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