A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

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Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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Albert <3 Hunter

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Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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