roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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David Cameron

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

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What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

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What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops