Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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David Cameron

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops