How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

You know what's funnier than 24? 25

Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

A pope meets another one

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

Emily Walker.

how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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