How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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What do you call a frog with a bow tie? Cute!

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What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

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An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

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Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

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what did the dog say to the muppet? WOOF

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One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This joke is stupid, Chuck Testa.

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

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A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

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Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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