i have alzheimer's, so i forgot the punchline to this joke

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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3 guys are in a car crap manners and shut up.shut up is driving and crape falls out the window so manners goes and gets him. A cop pulls over shut up.he goes what's your name son?shut up.where's your manners boy?over there picking up crape.

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? When your tooth breaks or you need braces.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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