A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

A man is sitting on his couch. The lights go out and his TV begins to float away. He breaks down into tears believing he has been cursed for a crime he commited earlier.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

what do you call ten white people on a bench ten white people sitting on a bench, possibly eating their lunch

What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

Jackie Chan: Who the **** is chuck Testa? A: Chuck Testa was an internet sensation who became famous after his video on Youtube advertising his taxidermy business, Ojai Valley Taxidermy.

What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

knock knock who's there the police you're under arrest for the kidnapping, and murder of 12 girls you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law

why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

Q. A couple went on a boat. The boat sank. Every single person died, who survied? A. The couple.

What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

What do men and parking spots have in common? Both often have cars on top of them. Vehicular manslaughter is a serious issue.

Why is this site popular? Because people don't read the terms of service.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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