Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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What did one sexy babe say to the other? We are sexy

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What do you have, if you have fists the can kill someone in one punch? Hulk's DNA

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? Cut the rope!

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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