whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

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there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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