what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

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What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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A Black Child just received his ivy-league diploma and hugged his dad.

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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What do you give a black man for his Christmas? A gift that you feel would suit his personality so that he may draw enjoyment from said gift.

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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Suicide is never the answer. Unless you ask me what I contemplated after I found out that my family was killed in a horrific traffic accident.

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A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

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I would very much love to meet you again Erron, call me sometime I do not care how you get my number.

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A guy walks into a bar

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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